It’s been the longest winter without you
I didn’t know where to turn to
See somehow I can’t forget you
After all that we’ve been through
Going ,coming
Thought i heard a knock who’s that no one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now i have realised  that i really didn’t know
If you didn’t notice
You mean everything, quickly i’m learning
To love again, all i know is
I’m be ok
Thought i couldn’t live without you
It’s going to hurt when it heals too
It’ll all get better in time
Even though i really love you
I’m gonna smile because i deserve too
It’ll all get better in time

*** I have faith in myself, I can do it n get better as time goes by…

Time really past by so quickly dis few months, i dun even realize it’s comin 2 an end again. This period would b my most miserable days and there were lotsa stuff happened durin dis few months…Mayb it had reached a time when v were supposed 2 grow and b matured, or mayb this was just 1 of d millions challenges dat v nid 2 faced in our life…There were frens prob, family prob n of course study as well…It seems like there were no time 4 me 2 lay back n review d processes i had gone thru in this period…As usual again, v had plenty of arguments n different opinions n thoughts…I noticed dat v were no longer d same person as wat v used 2 b…Our personality changes wif time or dis is d other personality of ourself where v had nvr noticed bout it b4???There were a slight changes in our friendship n these changes were nt beneficial…Mayb v gt 2 understand bout each other more n review d other personality n attitude of ourselves…Bt some of it were reli difficult 2 accept n forgive bout it…I tried n tried bt it is impossible 4 us 2 get back 2 wat v had used 2 b…Life’s like dis…Sometimes a relationship must nt b perfect as there were nothing in this world is perfect…bt it had all became ‘yesterday’ n v had more important things 2 face 2day…

I would jz wanna say ‘U all r d best 2 me and I cant afford 2 lose any1 of u…Vous etes mon amour!’

Counting back those days frm nw,it had been a yr afta i left.I had been havin a sweet n nice dream within this yr bt i tink it is time 4 me 2 awake.All those ppl n things shud b left behind.As wat i say time is always d best medicine 2 cure bcos as time past by v will soon 4get.Bt those days will b d sweetest memories dat i ever had in my life.Bt 1 person cant jz stay in their memories.This is wat a life shud b new things comin in n automatically there will b some things 2 leave behind.V dun hv huge memories 2 store stuff therefore v hv 2 sacrifice sth 2 welcome some better things 4 us.It will nt b 100% as wat v want it 2 b.V hv 2 learn hw 2 accept n let go.Ma cherie:

My dear…I seriously dun understand wat r u still waiting 4,he had aledi left n he will nvr cum back,y dun u try 2 4get bout him,i noe it will b vr hard 4 u.I had nvr noe dat u r so deep into it until u cant get rid of him in ur life.Mayb u nid some time like me bt dear when u tink of him jz let me noe ok?I m always there 4 u.Dun 4 get i m ur dearest fren.i understand ur wat r ur feelings rite nw as i had been thru it b4 as well bt i m aledi tryin 2 let it go bcos havin it in ur life is reli pain n suffering.I can do it n i trust dat u can do it as well.Dun always keep everythin 2 urself,i m willing 2 share ur probs wif u.U will feel more relieve if u choose 2 speak it out.

MON MARI,JE T’AIME BEAUCOUP!!!

I will always rmb this day bcos it is reli a bad day 4 me.Firstly i had 2 seat 4 my piano theory exam which i m always furious of, secondly had 2 do my practical restaurant service which i m always nervous of n finally had 2 separate wif my close fren which is equivalent 2 my grandma.All dis kinda feelings jz accumulated n afta i tok 2 her my tears jz burst out n i reli cant stand it anymore.In d morning i took my exam n i noe it was reli horrible,feel like cryin edi afta d exam bt still i swallow all d tears back so i wont scared my parents.Immediately afta d exam i had 2 rush 2 college 4 my service n luckily it still went smooth.Bt when d time i called up my fren who r leavin dat nite 2 US 4 study,dunno y my tears jz cant stop fallin,it seems like out of control.I jz hate dis kinda feeling,some1 leavin u n somemore dat person is ur luv one,it reli feels horrible.Dis is nt d 1st time i face dis kinda stuff bt i m still nt used 2 it.I still rmb about few mths i ago i had 2 leave a place which i had stay 4 a short time n i had used 2 hate dat place bt jz b4 i left dat place i jz found dat i luv dat place vr much actually.I oso force 2 separate wif d ppl i luv n miss alot,i cried terribly dat time oso.I m nt a reli strong gal which other ppl used 2 c frm me,i reli hate seeing my frens leavin me n i always hope dat v can stay 2gether always,as wat i used 2 say i luv u all 4ever n it is more den any1 else outside there.

I really love dis song vr much especially d lyrics bcos it is vr meaningful. Thru dis song i oso hope 2 pass a msg 2 a person…

" If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
  If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
  If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
  get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
  Boy, my love will get you home.

  If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
  get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
  Boy, my love will get you home, Boy, my love will get you home."

I reli hope dat u will b able 2 read dis msg…I reli hope 2 b d person u would share ur probs wif, no matter wat i oso hope dat u will let me noe bt nt hide it frm me, as wat i say i will always b there when u nid me, mayb i m unable 2 help much bt at least u can tok 2 me n share ur probs wif me, dun keep all d things 2 urself cos it is reli hard n it reli kills. Dun always think dat u r lonely or alone, i m always here 4 u, although v r far apart bt jz pretend dat i m wif u all d time n u will always live in my memory…   

I m reli confused wif some kinda relationship nowadays.Even a strong friendship which i had built n i had always tot it was strong enuf 2 overcome everything including misunderstandings.For now,it seems like no longer here n i jz have 2 many questions bout it.I always used 2 trust my frens n i always said frens r reli important in my life,friendship last 4ever n frens r always there when v nid them.Bt 4 nw it doesnt seems like dis 2 me anymore,izzit my problem or our friendship had changed?I reli had no idea,i m extremely upset bout it.I had always tried 2 pull her back when she is out bt i m reli 2 tired of doin dat,i reli hope dis time it is jz a small test 4 us n hope dat v can overcome it asap.

What will happen if i go back 2 club med again???Dis is d question surrounding my mind for d past few weeks.Last monday, 5 of us had went back 2 club med 2 visit d old frens n collect some stuff. Everything remains d same bt i jz felt different.Mayb v had left 4 quite a long time therefore i had sum strange feelings during dis vacation.Many nice n kind ppl had left n it is no more a happy family.Wat v heard r jz complain n complain, v were reli shock wif changes in club med.I din reli get 2 c d ppl which i wish 2 c, i reli felt a little bit dissapointed about it.Dis vacation makes me even miss dat person, dunno y bt it reli reminds me a lot about those days with ??? in club med.Bt dis time v had reli c some irritating ppl who r reli "muka tembok" n "tak tau malu".Jz wish dat he will get dump by d gal asap.I think dis trip 2 club med reli end d legend of club med in my life, i dun tink i will b goin back there in a short time.I m aledi prepare 4 another training, dis time 5 of us r goin 2 separate n i wanna wish dem gud luck n gambate!!!Lobsterman, wait 4 me, i m on my way!!!

Finally, training is finish, back to college again, it seems like nothing had happen b4. This 3 months juz past thru so quickly. Although it was reli suffering during this period but i reli enjoy n gain alot in club med. Many things had happen, there were good and also bad ones. Luckily, i am able to overcome all the bad things that happen n made it as an experience in my life. I also felt impressed bcos the friendship between the 6 of us still stay strong although there were lots of misunderstanding happen between us during this period. I get to understand my frens better and get to see different kinds of people. I still remember six of us were so surprised with wat v had seen when v arrived at club med the first day, it was like a hell for us, v saw lots of  ‘creature’ n d place v stay was reli horrible. Yet, soon v get use to the place n found that it was a nice place n the people there were reli nice n friendly. I reli luv d place n miss the people over there. I will never forget about it. But, everything is back to normal n i still have to continue my life without club med. It will stay as the ‘kenangan terindah’ in my life.

It’s been a long time since the last time i update my blog, dis might be the last blog for coming dis 3 months. I have to leave for industrial training to club med cherating for 3 months and dat’s the time when my nightmare starts. I dunno wat is going to happen there and i’ll not sure whether can i past through dis 3 months. I jz noe dat i have to leave my home, my college n my frens for 3 months. Although 3 months are not very long but i still feel scared bcos i never try to leave for such a long time. In addition, the seniors and lecturers said dat club med is not a really good place for training, wat they get is jz tired n tired. I m really nervous bcos i cant imagine how will my life going to b in dis coming 3 months. I think it will even worse than national service. Hope dat i can stay strong n everything will jz b fine for me n the most important is i will not get terminated. To my college mates who r goin for training, good luck n all the best, hope to c u all in term 4. To my frens, take care ya n b gud, dun miss me cos i’ll b fine, hope to c u all soon. I’ll miss all of u, when i come back, lets have a reunion, k? Last but not leasts, to my beloved sister, sorry for leaving you for such a long time, no one can disturb u n share ur problems with u in dis 3 months, no one can argue with u and fight with u, no one can shop with u whenever u like. Yet, i’ll miss u n pray for u. Dun bully bibi always ya, take gud care of him n make sure he wont 4get about me when i m back. Sorry to leave u alone at home with them, take gud care of urself n dun miss me, k? Leaving dis sunday aledi, Jz wanna say goodbye to everyone and take care. Lots of love!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today there was a cooking competition held in our college and it was organize by the very famous brand, Lee Kum Kee, i think everyone should have heard this name b4. We became the commis(helper) in the kitchen and assist the participants in this competition. Actually we dun had much things to do, we were jz ‘modelling’, so it was really boring. Yet, we had to bring out the dishes afta they finish cooking.We had to make sure all the dishes was pick up on time. The dishes were really presentable n elegant but the taste…i had no idea cos din get to taste it. It was quite boring at first but it gets busy towards the end cos there had many plates to wash. I had never washed that many plates b4 and it was really tiring. Although we were tired but we get to learn and watch different style of cooking and their creativity were really good. Therefore, i was enjoyed cos not everyone can get this opportunity to take part in such a big event. It was really a good experience!